Category: <span>EFT</span>

Zip-Up

I came across Donna Eden’s book, Energy medicine, around 10 years ago. It was fascinating. I used to do the daily energy routine quite often. Then I kind of forgot about it. Today after hearing Donna in a webinar I was inspired to start the zip up practise.

The practice is to trace the Central meridian which runs from the pubic bone to the chin point. You need to run your open palm ( both hands or one) upwards from the pubic bone to the chin point. Then stop tracing it and move your palm in air above the lip, above your head and then circle down back to the side of you. Breathe while you do this. After 3 times, in the last zip up, stop at chin point and imagine a lock next to your lip and lock it with a key and throw away the key. ( This last part is a new edition)
The chin point is also incorporated in EFT.

In the webinar Donna even says that if you can’t trace the meridian you can simply look up from the pubic bone point to the chin point in the mirror and that works too.

In her words, zip-up will help you.

  1. Feel more confident and positive about yourself and the world.
  2. Think more clearly.
  3. Tap your inner strengths
  4. Protect yourself from negative energies that may be around you.

Reference: Eden, D. 2005. Energy medicine.

Honouring Emotions

Note 1:

Although I’d like to tap daily, some days it’s just not possible. But emotions are emotions and they have a tendency to build up if ignored. So one of my nightly rituals lately has been to simply tap on each acupressure point and acknowledge all the feelings that I felt throughout the day. I acknowledge whatever stood out for me, even if it’s a mildly unsettling feeling. This takes just a few minutes and I feel like I’ve heard my emotions finally, given them a voice, instead of simply brushing them off.

A simple example would be to say, “ I was frustrated in the afternoon when…. and that’s okay/I acknowledge how I felt or still feel.”

Note 2:

Honouring emotions doesn’t mean feeling them all the time or being submerged in them. You can feel emotions in chunks, in small digestible quantities. While honouring and acknowledging emotions is very much needed, you need to decide how much you can process at a given time. Acknowledge then step back and then do the same again and again.

5 tips for learning a new skill

7 years back when I started learning Krav maga, a street smart self-defense, I didn’t realize it would be so tough especially since my fitness level was pretty low 🙂 However, more than the craft itself, it was my attitude that made it difficult. My perfectionism was a problem. I was pushing myself a lot and was too hard on my body. Gradually with the help of EFT, I started paying attention to my body’s signals and understanding when it needed a break or rest and when it needed to be gently coaxed, encouraged, or pushed. I was able to find the right way to navigate out of my comfort zone. Too little stress and no change happens, too much stress and we burn out. We need to find that balance ourselves as each one of us is unique and different.

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Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com

Slowly I started enjoying the training and my body was able to adapt and pick up the techniques much faster. Surprisingly I was able to withstand the brutal Kravmaga grading as well. I was also able to deconstruct my limiting beliefs and change them. Here’s an article I wrote on this. (https://eftforpeace.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/10-ways-to-develop-persistence-and-enjoy-learning-a-new-skill/)

As I look back, I realize how EFT helped increase my self-awareness. I learnt that I was a perfectionist when it came to acquiring new skills and slowly I was able to change that and be more accepting of myself.

Recently I joined Zumba classes. I’ve always wanted to learn dance and it seemed like the right choice to learn dance and stay fit.

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I’ve been to 4 classes so far. I’m often out of sync in the class as I suck at dance though I enjoy it thoroughly. Thankfully, the perfectionism I experienced in my Krav Maga classes was absent. Then it struck me that the tapping I did for my krav maga classes had brought about lasting changes. I didn’t have to tap at all this time on perfectionism despite the fact that I’m a non dancer and this is as difficult a skill to learn as Krav Maga had been for me 🙂 This a clear case of generalization in EFT. When you tap on an issue thoroughly, the results often generalize to other similar stuff.

I’m sure that some new aspects may come up and I’m all set to tap on them!

So here are the 5 things that can make it easy for you to learn a new skill.

1. Increase tolerance for your mistakes. Fumble, fall, be out of sync, be out of tune – just practice and be tolerant of your mistake because they will happen. That’s how we learn.

2. Decrease worry about what others think – Tap on decreasing your worry and fear of judgement. Stop paying so much attention to the body language of others and guessing what they’re thinking. Making assumptions and guessing drain your energy.

3. Increase self compassion. Be more kind to yourself. Be more accepting and forgiving.

4. Honour and Appreciate the effort you’re putting in. We’re habituated to look at our mistakes rather than the effort that we put in. Tap on appreciating your efforts.

5. Persist and tap on persisting.

The Unavoidable Triggers

We all have people, situations and issues that trigger us – push our buttons.

For example, a friend’s habit of interrupting while you speak might be making you furious or an environmental issue might be triggering you to the point of losing sleep. These are repetitive situations that can trigger us.

One of the most effective ways of handling triggers is to use EFT on them. I’ve had tremendous success with EFT in upsetting situations.company_reluctance

There will be two kinds of triggers – situations where your attitude and behaviour have the potential to directly influence the outcome, and situations where they don’t. Taking the earlier example – a situation where you can directly influence the situation. After a few rounds of tapping, you might consider telling your friend not to interrupt you. The difference will be that you’ll be much calmer when you ask them to shut up! 😉 You’ll get the confidence to clearly explain how you feel when you’re interrupted and what you’d like instead.

With an environmental, political or social issue you will not have control over the entire situation. Every time you hear someone speak about it or see it on news, you might get triggered. While it’s good to be aware of societal and environmental issues and not be numb to the causes that need our attention, it’s not good for our emotional health to have sleepless nights and meltdowns over them. You’ll also be hurting your love ones with your anger and snappy attitude.

In both these situations EFT can work.

When things are more or less in your control, meaning your attitude and behaviour can directly influence the outcome.

Steps

1. Tap on the emotion

2. Find out what it’s saying. Listen to its message. Here’s a video link on how to tap on anger and its messages.

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When things are not in your control, meaning your attitude and behaviour cannot influence the outcome directly or immediately. This kind of tapping needs persistence.

Steps

1. Tap every time you feel triggered. If you’re in conversation with someone and getting triggered, press your finger points.

2. Go deeper – tap on your helplessness about not being able to change anything about a situation.

3. After several sounds you might have a cognitive shift. If not, tap on the things that are in your control; what can you do from your end. Every small change that you work on makes a difference. For example, suppose you decide not to use plastic in your house, that’s a change. It will reduce the helplessness you feel.

Please note: While tapping on repetitive ongoing stressors, you may feel immediate relief but it may not last. Tap regularly and take up any new aspects that come up.

EFT research recommendation by NICE (UK Government Body)

NICE (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence) issued a set of guidelines for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). The guidelines are for, “recognising, assessing and treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in children, young people and adults.” (NICE, 2018)

NICE PTSD guidelines include a research recommendation for EFT. For the first time a government agency has deemed EFT worthy of research, which is a huge success for EFT.

The following excerpt is from NICE’s website:

The committee decided to make a research recommendation for emotional freedom technique (EFT), which is one of the two combined somatic and cognitive therapies considered in the guideline (the other one being thought field therapy TFT). EFT was selected for a research recommendation as it showed a considerably larger effect size than TFT in comparisons with nonactive controls in pairwise meta-analysis.

To find out why the committee made the research recommendation on EFT,  see appendix L of evidence review D: psychological, psychosocial and other non-pharmacological interventions for the treatment of PTSD in adults.

References:

AAMET Newsletter, Dec 5, 2018

NICE website: https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng116/evidence

Youtube Live Series

I have started a Youtube Live series on EFT for Physical Issues.

The first part was aired today and the replay will be available for the next 4 days.


The second part will be aired next week, and the third in Dec.

Every month I will be making Live presentations on Youtube on topics related to emotional and physical health.

Sign up to be notified every month.

Collapsing Global issues in EFT: The tabletop metaphor

This is a really good metaphor used by Gary Craig to explain how we need to work on specific events to collapse globally stated issues.

The tabletop is the global issue and the legs are the specific events that support the global issue.

Examples of Global Issues

Everyone rejects me.

I am unworthy of love and happiness.

This world is a dangerous place.

My co-workers always belittle me.

My work life sucks.

My partner is emotionally unavailable.

I’m unhappy

These are global beliefs or feelings that you need to work on. Since these issues are global in nature, just tapping on these will only bring partial or no relief. On the other hand, if you find the legs that support the table top, the specific events, then the table top will crumble.

 

Specific events

Start with events from your childhood and then work your way up to the events in adulthood. It’s good to start with the lesser intensity ones, if you are working by yourself or even with a practitioner, to avoid getting too overwhelmed. Once you’ve successfully worked on 2-3 of these smaller ones, go to the big ones. Once you’ve worked on the bigger intensity events, then the remaining smaller ones will also collapse.

Examples

My teacher slapped me in the 2nd std/grade.

I was bullied in the school when I was in the 5th std/grade.

I was compared to my sister and told that I weighed more than her.

My nanny abused me when my parents had gone to my Aunt’s house.

I hurt my knees when I fell down riding my bicycle.

To understand the EFT concepts, you can purchase the EFT concepts illustrated Ebook where all the concepts are depicted in pictures.

 

Breaking the habit of not taking breaks!

How many times have you continued an activity without a break?

For example, you are very passionate about a project or a new hobby that you’ve started. Do you try to finish the project without taking breaks, without paying any attention to sleep and other important daily self-care routines?

When you literally dive into something like this without a proper self-care routine, you run the risk of burnout. This can also lead to procrastination. You may collapse after this intense period of activity and not want to start the activity again. Once in a while all of us do this. We will work non-stop to meet a deadline or get too engrossed in an activity and it is okay. But if this becomes a habit, it has to change.

Non-stop and intense activity periods may be fuelled by one or more of these reasons:

  • Not wanting to take a break till you get a satisfactory result.
  • Thinking that taking breaks will decrease your concentration.
  • You don’t feel good enough about yourself and your work/activity is a way of proving to yourself that you are good enough.
  • You believe that work is superior to rest.
  • You believe in all or nothing thinking. Either do it all or not do at all.
  • You believe if you don’t do ALL, you will fail in it
  • You belief in ‘perfect’ results and won’t rest till the end result is ‘Perfect’.

How does this impact you? It will:

  • Drain you of energy.
  • Cause burnout
  • Impact your physical health
  • Disrupt your sleep
  • Reduce motivation to do other things

What can help?

  • Not letting the activity affect your sleep, exercise and eating routine.
  • Taking regular breaks, even if they are short.
  • Having control over any new activity that you undertake.
  • Listening to your body and taking breaks when it’s screaming for rest.
  • EFT

EFT SCRIPT

Even though when I dive into something, I don’t take breaks, I have a pattern of engaging in an activity non-stop, I accept and forgive myself.

Even though I cannot stop once I start something, I neglect my emotional and physical health, I would like to forgive myself.

EB- I don’t get up till I finish something

EC-I tend to push myself

UE- I feel I need to do it properly

UN- If I don’t do ALL, I’m going to fail, or not do well.

CH- – The more time I spend at something, the better the outcome will be.

CB -If I don’t spend that time I feel it’s not good enough.

UA- I procrastinate anything that takes a lot of energy for me.

TOP OF HEAD- I avoid it because I know if get absorbed into it, I won’t take breaks.

(Add whatever comes up for you)

EB-  What if there is a better way of doing things? What if I do a little daily?

EC- What if I can get work done without collapsing, procrastinating or losing motivation?

UE- What if I take breaks and engage in micro self-care practices to get better results, without getting burnt out?

UN-I choose to take breaks and give myself the rest that my mind and body deserve.

CH- If I take breaks, then I will be able to feel better even after the work is done. I won’t collapse. I won’t procrastinate.

CB- I choose to take frequent breaks.

UA- I choose to do a little daily.

TOP OF HEAD – I choose to make self-care a priority. This way I can get more work done.

Tap on ABC of anxiety to feel calm

Those who’ve experienced anxiety know that it entails worry, tension, catastrophic thoughts, physical sensations in the body etc. So in a way, there are specific components that make up anxiety. In Cognitive behaviour therapy sessions, I give a form to my clients, called the ABC form [A – activating event, B – beliefs and thoughts, C – consequences – emotions and behaviour] There is also a section in the form for rating the sensations in the body. Now, if you add ‘movement’ and ‘5 sense perception’ to this, it makes it more complete. I’m calling these the components of anxiety.

5 sense perception, thoughts, emotions, sensations in body, activating event and movement – all these are significant components of anxiety that we need to address when we experience anxiety.

If you work on these components of anxiety, you will experience profound relief. Let me explain how this can be done with the help of a case example.

My client, B, got very anxious whenever she stepped out of the house. She experienced immense anxiety in the stomach with catastrophic thoughts and images of falling down the stairs, falling on the road, etc. While she was very calm and relaxed at home, going out made her anxious. We worked on some core events from her childhood that had paved the way for this anxiety. We also worked on the beliefs and secondary gain related to anxiety. We tapped on her catastrophic thoughts, wanting to escape from situations, made behavioural experiments (combining cognitive behaviour therapy and EFT) to release her anxiety. Over a span of 2 months, her anxiety reduced drastically. What brought about a significant change in her anxiety was when she started addressing anxiety as soon as she experienced it, on a daily basis, with the suggested guidelines.

I asked her to approach anxiety in the following way whenever she felt anxious:

Activating event/trigger –  Stepping  out of the house.

Even though I get very anxious when as I plan to step out of the house, I accept how I feel.

Sensations in the body – Tightness in chest and heaviness in stomach.

She tapped on her fingertips, or simply pressed her fingertip points when she had sensations in her body. (We tapped on these scenarios in the sessions also)

Even though I have this tightness in my chest and heaviness in my stomach when I lock the door and leave the house, I choose to release this anxiety from my chest and stomach. I choose to calm my stomach.

Whenever she travelled by bus and was caught in a traffic jam, she would panic. So she started tapping on this:

Even though I have this sensation in my stomach and I feel this panic due to the traffic jam, I choose to release this anxiety from my stomach. I choose to calm and relax my stomach.

Thoughts: “What if I fall when I step on a bus!”

Even though I am having this thought right now, I am releasing it. I trust my body to keep me safe.

When she started focusing on her worries and doubts, they increased. So I asked her to tap before the doubts increased in their intensity.

Even though when my doubts cross a certain threshold, I am not able to control my thoughts, I feel helpless, I feel as if I cannot control the situation, I start feeling afraid, I choose to release that fear automatically in that moment.

Emotions: She was angry that she was getting anxious.

Even though I’m angry with myself, I choose to release this anger and replace it with compassion. I choose to be compassionate with myself.  I choose to be gentle with myself.

5 sense perception:  She got an image of falling off the bus.

Even though I see this image, I choose to change it and see myself safe and secure on the bus.

We didn’t tap on movement, but it helps to include that as explained below.

 

EXERCISE

Here is a simple exercise for you.

  • Measure the intensity of Anxiety.
  • Write down the specific components of anxiety, as given below.
  • Tap on these components
  • Measure intensity again.

COMPONENTS OF ANXIETY (Ideal for Daily tapping)

Activating Event– What triggered the anxiety?  Was it a thought? Did something happen? Did someone say something? Are you going out?

Thoughts – What are the thoughts running in your head? Example- “What if I fall?”, “I cannot control my anxiety”.

Emotions: What are you feeling? Example-  Fear of something terrible happening, anger for feeling anxious etc

Sensations in the body –  What do you feel in your body when you’re anxious? What change in your body tells you that you have anxiety?  Example – rapid breathing, sweating, tightness in chest, constriction in throat.

(5 sense perception and movement – Pat Ogden and Janina Fisher talk about this in sensoritmotor psychotherapy)

5 sense perception – Image/smell/taste/touch/sound. Do you see images when you get anxious?  Do you get a funny smell? Do you have a peculiar taste in your mouth? Do you feel warm or cold? Do you hear something?

Movement – This is about noticing the changes in the movement of your body, like the posture of your body and gestures etc.  Do you look down when you are anxious? Do you slump? Do your shoulders sag?

Change your posture and tap on it.

Even though I slump when I get anxious, I choose to sit straight.

Continue to tap this way at least once every day and see how you feel. Remember, this works best when you tap as soon as you feel anxious.

 

Crossing the Shame Swampland

I really like Brene Brown’s work. In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown says

“In Jungian circles, shame is often referred to as the swampland of the soul. I’m not suggesting that we wade out into the swamp and set up camp. I’ve done that and I can tell you that the swampland of the soul is an important place to visit, but you would not want to live there. What I’m proposing is that we learn how to wade through it. We need to see that standing on the shore and catastrophisizing about what could happen if we talked honestly about our fears is actually more painful than grabbing the hand of a trusted companion and crossing the swamp. And, most important, we need to learn why constantly trying to maintain our footing on the shifting shore as we gaze across to the other side of the swamp—where our worthiness waits for us—is much harder work than trudging across.”

 

 

Here’s how we can work on shame with EFT.

Understanding Shame

First and foremost understanding shame is a good place to start.

What is shame?
“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.”( Brown, 2013)
“Shame is a form of anger that arises when your boundaries have been broken from the inside – by something you’ve done wrong, or have been convinced is wrong.” (McLaren, 2010)

So putting it simply, the difference between guilt and shame is:

Guilt is when we feel we ‘did’ something wrong. It’s about an action. Shame is when we feel ‘we’ are wrong as a person.

Make EFT your companion and talk honestly about your fears while tapping.

With EFT you can cross the shame swampland

a) Accept what you feel truly feel

Even though I feel ashamed, I accept myself and this feeling of shame.

b)Tap on all the Catastrophic thoughts – What will happen if you allow the feeling of shame to come up? Tap on all the worst case scenarios in your head about allowing this feeling.  Example – You might feel that if you allowed yourself to feel the shame, you would feel overwhelmed and unable to cope with it.

Even though I might be overwhelmed if I allow this feeling to come up, I deeply and completely accept myself and how I feel.

c) Make a Shame List – Make a list stating all the incidents in the past that make you feel ‘shame’ and tap on them.

d) Perfectionism

“Brene Brown talks about practising ‘critical awareness by reality-checking the messages and expectations that tell us that being imperfect means being inadequate.’

Since perfectionism is tied to shame, check all the triggers related to this. For example – Do you feel inadequate when you haven’t done things ‘perfectly’? Tap on all the unrealistic expectations that you have and release the feeling of inadequacy and shame.

e) Developing Shame Resilience

“Shame resilience is the ability to recognize shame, to move through it constructively while maintaining worthiness and authenticity, and to ultimately develop more courage, compassion, and connection as a result of our experience. “ ( Brown, 2013)

Some tapping statements that can help you develop shame resilience.

Even though I feel ashamed, I would like to develop courage to move through it and let it flow easily through me.

Even though I feel shame, I choose to have compassion for myself in this process of letting it move through me.

Even though I feel shame and it makes me want to distance myself from myself and others, I want to develop authentic connection with myself and others as I let it flow through me.

References:

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

Language of Emotions by Karla McLaren