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Anxiety Teenage Therapy Trauma By Puja 0 Comments

Self-regulation and Co-regulation

We react to perceived threats most of the times. The painful writings on the walls from our past, aka beliefs, assumptions etc drive our day to day reactions. It’s usually the perceived threat that causes our nervous system to get into FFF responses.

For example, if you are visiting a dentist and you’re feeling very anxious, it’s because of the painful writings on the wall from the past. Maybe your last visit to the dentist was very uncomfortable and you are carrying that “painful past learning” and it’s “intruding into your present”.

If you look at it from the lens of the Nervous system, you’ll understand that your body isn’t against you, it’s just behaving as it should when it perceives threat. It will react in the same way as it would to real threat. The key is to learn self regulation and relaxation techniques that can take your nervous system out of the sympathetic state (FFF) into the parasympathetic state (rest/digest).

(Goes without saying that trauma informed therapy is also a must if you’ve been through any kind of trauma)

What is self-regulation?

The ability to gauge how your body responds to different kinds of stimuli and decrease the tension in the body before it escalates. In other words, it’s the awareness of your body’s sensations and being able to bring them down before they increase.

What is Co-regulation?
I define it simply as “when someone’s calm can ease your chaos/distress.”

Children who’ve had attuned parents who were able to soothe them during times of distress, have greater ability to self-regulate when they grow up.

For example, when a baby cries, the caregiver makes soothing sounds and attends to the baby. When a child is overwhelmed, the caregiver uses their own regulated state to calm the child.
All these are instances of Co-regulation.

Stephen Porges says, “There’s an overall paradox in that individuals who appear to be efficient in regulating themselves are the ones who have had more opportunities to effectively co- regulate with others. Their nervous system has a history of neural exercise that would promote resilience.
In contrast to the older more traditional model that would argue that if an individual was supported too much, the experience of support would compromise the individual’s ability to take care of themself. I believe this a misunderstanding of the needs of humans.
Humans need to be co- regulated, because the experience of being co-regulated develops resilience that will enable a human to self-regulate in the absence of opportunities to co-regulate.”

And did you know that Tapping with someone is also a process of co-regulation?

Join the Trauma Study Circle to learn more about Trauma and EFT.

Reference: Eric Gentry and Robert Rhoton ( CCTP course)

EFT By Puja 0 Comments

From Rescuing to Self-Love: Uncovering the Inner Child Connection

Rescuing others can be a subtle form of control, often driven by the unconscious hope that being a “rescuer” will earn love in return. This dynamic stems from a belief that the act of rescuing will fill the void created by a lack of self-love.

When viewed through the lens of inner child work, this pattern begins to make sense. During an EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) session focused on inner child healing, one client uncovered childhood trauma that left her younger self yearning for protection. As a child, she had endured abuse without anyone to protect her.

Through tapping and connecting with this younger, wounded part, she realized that her inner child was still waiting to be rescued and protected. By processing layers of emotions and offering compassion to that part of herself, a profound shift occurred. The younger self no longer felt the need for external protection but instead felt free to play and experience joy independently. As a result, her adult self began to let go of the compulsion to seek external rescuers or play the role of one. Although more healing was needed, she felt freer to care for herself without waiting for someone else to fill the void.

Healing unresolved trauma through tapping often brings a newfound ability to confidently care for oneself, reducing the tendency to rescue others or seek rescuers. While a healthy need for love and connection is essential for a fulfilling life, unhealthy dependence and clinginess lead to persistent emptiness.

Codependent behaviors and rescuing tendencies usually arise from unhealed wounds tied to a lack of self-love. This lack often extends to younger parts of ourselves—hurt, traumatized, and burdened with guilt and shame. These parts, often rooted in childhood, carry unmet needs for love, protection, and acceptance that were not fulfilled by caregivers. To heal, we must extend compassion and acceptance to all parts of ourselves.

Reflection Questions:

  1. Do you feel driven to protect and rescue others because you weren’t protected as a child?
  2. Did you experience abandonment or rejection growing up?

Steps for Inner Child Work:

  1. Identify a part of yourself that feels unprotected, hurt, wounded, or abandoned.
  2. Acknowledge the feelings this part carries. Use EFT to gently explore these emotions.
    • Stay compassionate and present with this part without trying to fix or rescue it. Let the raw, unfiltered emotions surface.
  3. Ask yourself: How old is this part?
  4. Pinpoint a specific event from your past where you felt this way as a child.
  5. Apply the movie technique on this event.
  6. Continue working with these younger parts using EFT and inner child work. Over time, you’ll notice gradual changes in your present patterns of codependency.

Healing takes patience and kindness toward yourself. As you integrate these younger parts, you create space for self-love and authentic, healthy connections with others.

You can learn Inner child work with EFT by attending one of our classes.

EFT • • • • • • By Puja 0 Comments

Partners of Alcoholics

It can be deeply challenging to be in a relationship with someone who abuses alcohol, whether it’s through regular excessive drinking, weekend binges, or functioning alcoholism. If their behavior makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, this is an important moment to seek clarity and create healthy boundaries.

This post is for you—designed to provide insights and support to help you better understand the situation, prioritize your well-being, and navigate the complexities of such a relationship. You are not alone, and there are ways to regain your sense of stability and peace.

Alcohol addiction is a very serious issue that can break families. Not only is it very difficult for the individual in addiction, it is equally difficult for their partners and spouses. While individuals in addiction need a shame-free recovery process and tons of support, their partners need a lot of support too.

First and foremost, alcohol isn’t an excuse for irresponsible and bad behaviour. The more you overlook bad behaviour, the more it will seem that you’re rewarding the bad behaviour. No matter what the reason – how bad someone’s childhood has been or whether someone belongs to a dysfunctional family- it’s not an excuse for someone in addiction to hit their spouse, behave aggressively and/or emotionally/physically/sexually abuse them.

For Partners of Alcoholics:

You are not a rehabilitation center for someone else’s issues. While offering support is admirable, it should only be extended to those who genuinely want help and are willing to respect your boundaries. You cannot support someone who misuses, manipulates, or resents your efforts.

Set clear boundaries about what you will and will not tolerate, and communicate these openly with your partner. Physical abuse is a firm non-negotiable—there is absolutely no justification for your spouse to hit, shove, or behave aggressively, even under the influence of alcohol.

Emotional abuse is equally unacceptable. Addiction often leads to behaviors like lying, manipulation, and gaslighting, driven by the compulsion to drink. In such cases, the addiction often becomes their top priority, with little regard for the partner’s well-being or needs.

Remember, protecting your emotional and physical safety is paramount. Supporting someone doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself in the process.

Here are a list of questions. If you say yes to even two of them, then seek therapy immediately.

Does your partner get violent?
Are they physically aggressive?
Are they using you as a punching bag every time they drink?
Do they binge and vomit frequently and you’re left to clean it up?
Do they drink and drive despite your repeated requests?
Do they come home drunk frequently while you help them go to bed?
Do they cheat and lie and use alcohol as an excuse?
Do they force you to have sex when you’re not willing to?
Do they verbally abuse you while they’re drunk?
Do they binge drink regularly on weekends?
Do they behave in ways that is inappropriate when they’re drunk?
Do they behave inappropriately with others when they’re drunk?

Enabling Behaviours: 

It’s not your fault that your spouse drinks. However, some of your behaviours such as not setting clear boundaries, rescuing, engaging in excessive caretaking, volatile outbursts, controlling etc. can certainly enable the drinking. Partners of alcohol addiction often think that by engaging in all the above behaviours, they can control the alcoholic’s drinking. But control is a fallacy. You cannot control their drinking and stop it for them, if they’re not willing to.

Some general guidelines on how to handle your relationship.

Are you rescuing them? Are your behaving like a guardian or a mother/father to save them? Maybe they’ve had a bad childhood/ dysfunctional family but they are still responsible for their behaviour when they drink. If after repeatedly setting firm boundaries, they are unwilling to seek help and continue to behave in the same way, you have every right to walk out of the relationship ( if you have a support system). If you find yourself in a society or situation where leaving is challenging—due to cultural norms, lack of resources, or financial dependence—and your life is in danger, prioritize your safety. Reach out to the police or contact women’s organizations for support and assistance.

  • If you decide to support and stay, practice healthy detachment from their issues while you support them. Say NO calmly and frequently to unrealistic demands from your spouse when they’re drinking and sober. Being kind and detached helps.
  • Being clear in your communication that they need to seek help for the problem is imperative, remember you alone cannot fix it.
  • No amount of love is going to solve it unless your partner/spouse is willing to put in the work, and seek help. Remember alcoholics heal or anyone heals only when they’re are willing to. Just because it’s difficult to give up drinking isn’t an excuse to subject you to physical or emotional abuse.
  • Say no to sex if you don’t want to have sex. If you hate the smell, the drunkenness and don’t find it inviting, you have every right to refuse sex.
  • Make sure your seek therapy to handle your mood changes. There will be guilt, frustration, helplessness, rage, anger, etc. You might feel there’s something wrong with you. Seek help from a psychologist. Yes, your partner needs help but you need it more as you’re dealing with the effects of their drinking. Remember self-care precedes others’ care.
  • If you have children, it’s crucial to assess early in the relationship whether your spouse exhibits aggression, violence, or cruelty. Be mindful of how their behavior impacts your child’s well-being. In such cases, separation or divorce is often a healthier option than exposing a child to an emotionally volatile environment. Prioritizing a stable and nurturing atmosphere is essential for their development.
  • Place the onus of their actions on them in a calm and clear manner; shouting, ranting, raging – doesn’t work.
  • But most of all decide what works for you. It’s time to think about yourself instead of what the society thinks, etc. Build your self esteem that’s been eroded due to the relationship and the alcoholism and start afresh. It’s not going to be easy but let’s put it in perspective – even staying with an alcoholic isn’t easy. Hence, even if it’s difficult to stay alone, it’s still a choice you that you’ve made. Choose ‘your kind of hard’ instead of others choosing it for you.
EFT Training By Puja 0 Comments

The Importance & Power of Accredited EFT Training

In this training we will dive into the skills and techniques of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT).

I wanted to share the immense benefits of attending an accredited EFT training and stress on the importance of practicing EFT in the EFT classes.

Module Structure:

This EFT training is designed with precision. Each module builds upon the last, providing a comprehensive understanding of EFT principles. Learning the foundational skills will help you embark on a journey that empowers you to master the art of eft application.

 

Demonstrations:

We know that learning through observation is key. The training includes live demonstrations and when you see the techniques in action, you’ll gain insights into the subtleties of applying EFT effectively. These demos bridge the gap between  theory and practice, making your learning experience truly immersive.

 

Practice Sessions:

Practice makes perfect, and EFT is no exception. Thus online training incorporates hands-on practice sessions where you’ll apply EFT under guidance. These sessions create a supportive environment for honing your skills, ensuring you feel confident using EFT in real-life situations.

 

Engaging Content:

This is an engaging and participative course where you won’t be a mere passive recipient of the information. You’ll get to engage with fellow learners, share experiences, and receive feedback. This safe environment enhances your learning journey, providing additional perspectives and encouragement.

 

Flexibility of Online Learning:

The training is every Saturday for 3.5 hours which helps in absorbing information more easily without getting overwhelmed by too much information.

 

Certification and Accreditation:

Upon completion, you’ll receive a certificate of attendance from EFT international. After the training, you can undertake mentoring for certification to become a certified EFT Practitioner, which will establish and enhance your credibility as an EFT practitioner.

 

Conclusion:

The modular structure, live demonstrations, practice sessions, engagement, and the flexibility of online learning converge to create an unparalleled training experience. Unleash the power of EFT and transform lives, starting with your own. Join us in unlocking the path to emotional well-being!

 

 

 

 

EFT Trauma Understanding Emotions By Puja 0 Comments

Do you have a difficulty in cultivating relationship/friendship with others?

In our culture, IQ is given more importance than emotional intelligence. Having emotions is seen as a sign of weakness which leads to unhealthy expressions of emotions. The following are signs of emotional immaturity that can lead to difficulty in cultivating healthy and meaningful relationships with others.

SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL IMMATURITY THAT RESULT IN ISOLATION & LONELINESS 

Lack of emotional-awareness:

A lack of understanding of feelings leads to the inability to express them in healthy ways. For example, healthy anger helps in drawing firm boundaries whereas unhealthy expressions of anger lead to violating others’ boundaries.

  1. Inability to recognize and label one’s feelings.
  2. Inability to acknowledge negative feelings. Denying, suppressing or acting impulsively on feelings.
  3. Feeling guilty for having negative feelings like jealousy, envy, anger.
  4. Suppressing feelings and then lashing out at someone or a situation all at once.
  5. Instead of acknowledging what you are feeling, and acting in accordance with your values, reacting to people and situations.
  6. Reacting instead of responding to situations and people frequently. Being reactive every day – Shouting, raising voice, agitated speech, angry outbursts or being numb and passive-aggressive.

Signs of unresolved trauma:

The following are just some signs of emotional immaturity that result from having experienced trauma or adverse experiences. For example, divorce, death of parents at a young age, abuse, neglect, domestic violence etc. can impact the development of emotional quotient.

  1. Persistent fear of being judged by others.
  2. Fear of being abandoned.
  3. Misinterpreting information, words, messages by other people.
  4. Always looking for signs of rejection by others (when they’re not actually rejecting you).
  5. Looking for signs of being judged, and misinterpreting information as being a judgment (when people are not being judgmental in reality).
  6. Rehashing every situation or what has been said multiple times in your mind and seeing situations bigger than what they are.
  7. Making up words and reactions in your mind. Although all of us react according to the way we see situations, when we make up things because of rehashing situations many times, it’s very unproductive. Our mind has a habit of adding details, every time we remember something. Let’s say you’re angry with someone, you’ll see things as bigger than they are every time you recall the conversation. When the mind is agitated, it’s very easy to see the situation bigger than it is.
  8. Projecting your own feelings onto others. For example, suppose you’re angry, you think the other person is angry while they’re not.
  9. Thinking that the world is out to get you -Looking at everyone with suspicion as if they have hidden ulterior motives and are out to harm you. ( There are some people who do intentionally harm and we need to recognize and stay away from them but if you’re looking at everyone/most people with suspicion, then it’s a different story).
  10. Having unpredictable behaviour pattern with people – getting too close too soon and then cutting all contact.
  11. Overexplaining each and every behaviour of yours to others and getting defensive very easily.
  12. Getting offended very easily by others remarks or taking things too personally.

 

Boundary Issues

  1. Putting on a smile even when you don’t like what is being said or done.
  2. Saying yes to every favor and then resenting the people you helped.
  3. Trying to empathize without understanding the context – Thinking that others will respond the same way as you would if you were in their shoes without taking into account their unique situation which may be similar to yours but isn’t the same.
  4. Emotional dumping – Dumping all of your problems and situations on every person you meet.
  5. Sharing indiscriminately – Lack of discretion when it comes to sharing your personal life and stories. Sharing everything with everyone.
  6. Lack of boundaries – Instead of speaking up when someone violates your boundaries, you end up storing all hurts and resenting them.
  7. Building a wall around yourself to protect yourself from getting hurt – Not letting people into your life and then claiming that you are misunderstood and that everyone else, but you, is to be blamed.
  8. Anticipating others needs and doing things for them without them asking for it, then resenting them for not appreciating you or pointing out all the times you’ve helped them.

Lack of Inter-personal communication skills:

  1. Blurting out every thought and feeling indiscriminately to everyone.
  2. Not filtering your words and tone in sensitive conversations.
  3. Imposing your views on others and arguing every point.
  4. Not taking responsibility for your part in a conflict.
  5. Having no clue about how to repair conflicts.
  6. Never taking initiative to repair conflicts.
If you’re displaying the signs mentioned above, people in your life may have difficulty in dealing with your venting, emotional outbursts, emotional volatility and eventually may distance themselves from you which in turn will make you feel that you’re misunderstood or worst, victimized. ( I’m not talking about genuine situations where you have been victimized).
This in turn will make you isolate yourself, think that people and the world are against you, no one understands you which in turn will just increase your loneliness, frustration, anxiety and sense of being misunderstood. It’s a vicious cycle.
Also, the above signs will make it difficult for you to cultivate and sustain meaningful relationships with others.
What can help?
  1. If you have unresolved trauma, see a trauma therapist.
  2. Start by being honest with yourself about your feelings. Every feeling is legitimate and important but if you suppress them and express them inappropriately, these feelings will only intensify, and hurt you and others. Learn more about feelings by reading Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman and/or The Language of Emotions by Karla Mclaren.
  3. Learn simple stress management techniques and practice them daily.  EFT can help.
  4. Learn how to regulate your feelings.
  5. Build 1-1 relationships/friendships with people and make an effort to interact with them regularly. How to break up with your friends by Erin Falconer is a really good book on “finding meaning, connection and boundaries in Modern friendships.”
  6. Take responsibility for your mistakes instead of always blaming others. Look within to see what is making people distance themselves. While it’s true that you may be misunderstood, it’s also true that your emotionally volatility and reactivity don’t allow people to have a calm and clear conversation with you.
  7. Self-Care: Take up hobbies and take time out for yourself.
  8. Reduce over involvement and controlling behaviour towards your family and friends.
  9. If you’re reacting 5 times in a day reduce the reactivity to once and lesser. Once in a while everyone reacts, but if  it’s frequent, then you need to see what in your environment is making you so reactive. Sometimes when people around us are reactive, we become more reactive as well and vice versa. Sometimes our own misinterpretations, assumptions, and limiting beliefs about others or situations can make us react. Journalling, massage, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation can help.
  10. Step away from volatile situations. Don’t get caught up in the drama.
  11. You cannot always understand what others are going through and that’s why sensitivity is required when it comes to interacting with people who are going through a difficult time. The person you’re empathizing with will have different values, belief system, sense of humour, perspectives, life situations than you, and you cannot always understand what they’re going through. What works better is to understand a person’s situation in the light of their circumstances, not your own.
  12. Listen more and give less opinions or advice especially when someone is in pain or suffering.
  13. Even in situations where you were deliberately hurt by others, the only thing you can change is your feelings and attitude about it, not the others. EFT can help in releasing negative thoughts and feelings and helping you feel more empowered by coming out of the victim stance.

Please note: These suggestions don’t apply to everyone. There are some situations where others deliberately hurt us, and are violent or abusive. In these situations, it’s normal to feel scared, angry, frustrated and develop subconscious limiting beliefs as a result of the trauma. However, in order to change, the impact of the trauma will have to be processed and finally one will have to work through the layers of trauma etc. to heal oneself. It’s good to allocate responsibility for trauma to others because obviously you didn’t invite the abuse or violence. It happened and you cannot be blamed for it but at the same time you are the only one who can change, heal and transform yourself, and not the perpetrator.

 

EFT By Puja 0 Comments

8 reasons to join EFT International

 By certifying as a Practitioner and/or Trainer with EFT International, the largest EFT organization, practitioners gain professional recognition and credibility.
  1. Being affiliated with a reputable organization will add to your professional standing and validate your expertise in EFT.
  2. Membership in EFT International provides access to a global network of students, practitioners & trainers .
  3. EFT International upholds high standards and code of ethics for all its members. Joining the organisation demonstrates a commitment to professional integrity, ethical practice, and maintaining the highest level of EFT skills.
  4. Each member has to fulfil the annual requirement of 6 hours of mentoring and 30 hours of CPD which in turn shows that everyone, no matter what their expertise level, is required to continue to update their skills in EFT.
  5. Listing in practitioner directory – Members are listed in the EFT International Practitioner Directory, a verified resource for individuals seeking EFT practitioners. This directory increases visibility and provides a platform for potential clients to find and contact members directly.
  6. Research: The organisation actively promotes research on EFT. Also, members can attend the EFT international research symposium every year.
  7. Recognition as an Accredited and certified EFT Practitioner: Membership in EFT International signifies that practitioners have met the organization’s rigorous requirements for skills training in EFT. This recognition sets them apart as qualified and skilled professionals in the field of Emotional Freedom Techniques.
  8. EFT International Logo and Branding: Members can get access to the EFT International logo which they can use in their marketing materials, websites, and promotional ventures. This adds credibility to their professional status as an EFT Practitioner.
EFT By Puja 0 Comments

Benefits of learning EFT in a workshop

  1. Learning EFT is empowering. It is an excellent stress relief and relaxation technique, not just for yourself but also for your clients. The workshop is designed to facilitate the learning of EFT in a calm and regulated environment.
  2. EFT enables people to take charge of their emotional well-being. It’ll help you tap into your inner resources, build resilience and cultivate emotional and bodily awareness.
  3. EFT helps people identify and transform limiting beliefs that are holding them from reaching their full potential. The techniques that you’ll learn in this workshop will help you break free from these limiting patterns in your life.
  4. EFT is a tool than help in building emotional resilience and increase your capacity to handle stress. It equips participants with skills to navigate life’s challenges, bounce back from setbacks and maintain self-regulation.
  5. When you work on your limiting beliefs, you develop better frustration tolerance due to emotional awareness and self regulation technique, your relationships also improve as you learn to resolve conflicts and foster healthier relationships.
  6. It helps in boosting confidence and self esteem. Participants often report releasing self doubt, overcoming diffidence and developing a positive self regard.
  7. EFT workshop also takes you on a journey of personal growth and self discovery.
This workshop has EFT exercises, practice in pairs, group discussions to deepen the understanding and experience the power of EFT firsthand.
I’m a trainer of trainers with EFT International, the largest EFT organization led by dedicated volunteers who adhere to the highest standards of training in EFT. This workshop can help you not just to bring about positive changes in your life but also in that of others – friends and family.
EFT Physical issues • • • By Puja 0 Comments

Recovery from hysterectomy with EFT

After avoiding hysterectomy for the past couple of years, I finally made up my mind to go through it two months ago.

A little background

For years I managed my painful period with EFT. I had debilitating pain every month which left me bed-ridden affecting every sphere of my life. With the help of EFT, I was able to ease the frustration and angst that this caused, and take 5 days off every month to rest.

I was diagnosed with PCOD (Polycystic Ovarian Disease) at a young age and then with fibroids. Neither of these conditions were deemed serious enough for surgery, hence my doctor never suggested it. However, about 2 years ago, my doctor finally asked me to go for hysterectomy as my health was deteriorating and it was affecting my quality of life.

Last year when my period started getting worse and started coming twice a month, I knew that I had to decide quickly, but I was petrified of undergoing surgery. I wanted to be sure that I had exhausted all the possibilities of healing my uterus, which in my opinion, I had.

Tapping before surgery

In order to prepare myself for surgery I did a lot of self-tapping and a few sessions with tapping buddies.
Some of the aspects were:
“Even though I’m not sure if this surgery is the right choice, ….”
“Even though I’m scared of surgery,…”
“Even though I’m afraid of general anesthesia, ….”

All this helped in going through the numerous tests and checkups calmly. I was in a Zen like state on the day of the surgery.

But things went downhill right before surgery, emotionally.

When the nurses were prepping me for surgery, they messed up the IV and the intense pain along with the unkindness of one nurse broke my resolve. I was crying right before surgery but I kept tapping on my finger points throughout. My surgery went longer than usual due to some minor complication. The two days that I spent in hospital after surgery felt like a punishment! It was my first hospitalization and I was not prepared, and in a lot of pain. I had tapped so much for undergoing surgery but I forgot to address the aftermath of surgery. In my naïveté or wishful thinking that everything would be miraculously okay after surgery, I didn’t factor in the recovery phase as being difficult.

At one point, the pain was so debilitating, that I tapped on:
“Even though it’s so debilitating, and I feel like I might die, I’m surrendering to the pain and this process.”
This helped calm my nerves and I was able to tolerate more pain as the painkillers were not that effective initially. The rest of the stay in the hospital was filled with small mishaps that left me feeling helpless. These small t’s (traumas) added up and I spent the next 2 months tapping on all of it.

 

Struggling with symptoms 

As I struggled with ongoing pain, digestive issues, toothache from hell, and food poisoning, during the two months, I frequently felt hopeless and overwhelmed. My biggest fear was ending up in the hospital again.

Some of the aspects I tapped on were:
“Even though my suffering doesn’t seem to end, …”
“Even though I’m not sure when it’ll end, I want to remind myself that I am recovering in small ways everyday.”
“Even though I feel like I’m being punished, …”(This brought up some childhood hurts and I worked on them)
“Even though I’m so angry at the nurses for how unkind they were, … “( Tapped on the VAKOG of this experience)
“Even though I felt hopeless and helpless during my hospital stay, …”
“Even though it’s been a very challenging journey, I would love to have some compassion for myself.”
“Even though I might end up in the hospital again, and although the chances are slim, if it happens it happens. I choose to now come back to the present moment.”

Following a daily tapping routine

I incorporated some positive statements and cognitive shifts into my daily tapping routine. I would tap every morning on these statements:
“I’m safe at this moment.”
“I’m recovering.”
“My organs that were affected by the surgery are healing.”
“Healing is slow but it’s definitely happening.”
“I’m allowing my body to take its time to heal. My body knows how to heal. I choose to trust my body.”

Overall, the whole process was very stressful and there were multiple small t’s that had to be addressed, but due to the tapping, I was able to find many tiny moments of calm and peace during this time as well. I was able to appreciate the resources I had, and whenever the discomfort lessened I drew and read a lot.

Tapping, a real gift


EFT has been a life saver for me and continues to be helpful as I struggle with ongoing fatigue and stomach issues. A self regulating as well as relaxation tool, EFT’s USP is its adaptability to any situation.

In my opinion, using EFT on a daily basis for self-regulation when you are going through a physical or emotional hardship is the best gift you can give to yourself. While you cannot change the external circumstances, you can certainly heal what you are going through internally and give yourself hope.

I’m glad that EFT gave me the strength to undergo surgery as it’s only after the surgery that we found additional multiple fibroids which went undetected in scans and would have led to complications in future.

 

Anxiety EFT By Puja 0 Comments

Handling Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts are repetitive, anxiety provoking, and frustrating. You feel as if you are losing control – you don’t want these thoughts and yet they suddenly come up and bother you, and the more you try to get rid of them the more they persist.

Let's take a look at why the brain produces thoughts.

The brain produces automatic negative thoughts. This is because the brain is wired for survival. When our ancestors were hunter gatherers, they were always on the lookout for threat. For example, their thoughts were something like this, "Is this a poisonous snake?"," Is that a poisonous fruit? Is it edible?", "I hear a rustle, shall I hide or take out my spear?"

Even though we're now living mostly in cities and while the chances of being bitten by a snake or eating a poisonous fruit has drastically reduced unless we’re mind numbingly zoned out, our brain is still very active and produces a myriad of thoughts.

The brain produces ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts) and we have a tendency to get hooked on to them. These thoughts are mostly judgements, evaluations and are catastrophic in nature, and not facts. They just get generated endlessly.  These thoughts also get blended with visuals and sounds. So, you may have a visual thought of falling down the stairs as soon you start descending the stairs. It may frighten you, but its purpose is to help you stay cautious. However, when you get hooked on to these thoughts by engaging with them, suppressing them or by paying too much attention to them, it can lead to chronic anxiety and hypervigilance.

Here are some tips to handle negative thoughts that are weird, strange, related to self-harming, harming others, gross or sexual in nature and that come out of nowhere.

  1. Know that these thoughts aren't facts. Tell yourself - these aren't facts.
  2. Do not react to the thoughts. Most people end up questioning their thoughts or themselves. “How can I have these thoughts? They're weird. Ugh! What's wrong with me?” This line of questioning exacerbates the thought and they become intrusive.
  3. Reverse the thought in your head, it'll lose its power as Susan David suggests in the book, Emotional Agility. For example, if you're thinking this continually, “What if I harm myself?”, reverse it. Myself-harm-I-if-What. The brain knows the new thought is gibberish and the thought will lose its power.
  4. Practice calming your mind regularly (Diaphragmatic breathing, tapping, Progressive muscle relaxation etc. can help).
  5. If you're anxious, then the thoughts will be more in quantity. They could be full blown colorful pictures- that float in your head. Hence, calming your body is equally important as the mind and body aren’t separate. What affects one affects the other. Tapping can help a lot in relaxing and calming your body.
  6. Usually, there is a theme underlying these thoughts. For example, some thoughts can be catastrophic in nature, like falling down the stairs or more self-harming like, “What if I cut myself with a knife? ”or evaluative - “What if I’m being judged by these people on the street?” Write down your thoughts and explore it with a psychologist. REBT can be very helpful.
  7. Affirmations can be very helpful too. Repeating or tapping on positive affirmations by Louise Hay, such as the ones given below, can be helpful too.

I calm my thoughts and I am serene. I feel safe to be ME
I lovingly protect myself with thoughts of joy and peace.
My thoughts flow freely and easily. I move through ideas with ease.
I relax and let life flow through me with ease.

Here’s a sample tapping script for intrusive thoughts. Best to make your own script and tap with your own words for tapping to be effective.

For more information on tapping, click here.

On SOH- Even though I have these thoughts that stress me out, I accept myself.

Sequence of Points – I’m afraid of these thoughts

But these thoughts can’t harm me.

I’m scared of these thoughts.

But they’re just thoughts, not facts.

I choose to be calm and focus on my breathing when they come up.

I choose to trust myself that I won't do anything. These thoughts will not convert into action.

I choose to let these thoughts pass/go by themselves.

EFT Research By Puja 0 Comments

EFT Research (Part 10)

EFT Research (Part 10): Borrowing Benefits, Group Treatment

I am back with another study, and this is called Borrowing Benefits: Group Treatment with Clinical EFT Is Found to Be Associated with Simultaneous Reduction in PTSD, Anxiety and Depression Symptoms. This was published in the Journal of Evidence-Based Integrative Medicine in 2018.

Let me begin by explaining a little bit about borrowing benefits. Borrowing benefits is a phenomenon where you will find a reduction in the intensity, the emotional intensity of your own issues if you are tapping along with a group, a video or a live demo, and especially where the client’s issues are similar to that of yours. Also, borrowing benefits can be used as a strategy where you set an intention to work through your issues. In this process, you will be picking up an issue, giving it an intensity and putting it aside, and then you will be focusing your attention fully on the person that you are tapping with. After the session is over – the tapping is over – you will find a reduction in the intensity of your own issue. This is called borrowing benefits.

This study was to demonstrate the relationship between PTSD, depression and anxiety, and the sample size was 81. 81 people participated in five two-day workshops, and all groups used borrowing benefits, where the facilitator was working with the client while the group was applying self-tapping. The participants were assessed on 9 specific conditions, the Positive Symptom Total and the depth and breadth of psychological distress, the General Symptom Index. Physical pain and addictive cravings were also measured, and reductions were observed on all measures, and gains were maintained at six-months follow-up with the exception of the Hostility subscale.

Use of Borrowing Benefits in EFT training classes: 

This shows that borrowing benefits definitely works, and I have seen it in my trainings where if I am doing a demo with a trainee and I ask the group to note down an issue, give it a number, put it aside and focus their full attention on the demo and tap along with us using the words that we are using in that demo, there is a reduction in the emotional intensity of their issues even though they weren’t actively focused on it.

Link to video: