My Tapping Journey with Her2+ Breast Cancer (Part 2)

Link to Part 1

After my chemotherapy was over, I was asked to go for several tests again. I had to decide what kind of surgery I wanted. Two options were given to me considering ontological safety and cosmesis and it was a very tough week where I weighed the pros and cons of each type of surgery.

I tapped to trust my instincts and made a decision.

The day before the surgery they put dye in my left breast under the CT scan. It was so painful that I was crying and tapping on the scan table. One permission that I gave to myself during this journey was to never stop my tears. If they flowed, they flowed.

By the time I got admitted to the hospital, I had already had 4 injections. After admission, an IV line was put on my hand. Then they gave me an intramuscular injection to stop blood clotting, an injection to draw blood, another anti allergic injection and a few more that I don’t remember. By the time they were finished, I was ready to bolt from the hospital. But again, I tapped to regulate myself and prepared my mind for the upcoming surgery.

EFT statements for surgery: Handling fear, anxiety and overwhelm with ease

On the day of the surgery, there was a 30 mins wait before I was taken to the operation theatre. I was in the pre-operative area in my surgical attire, lying down and staring at the light on the ceiling. The nurses were waiting for the doctors to arrive.

During that time, I felt alone and to feel better, I started humming a song and tapping. It instantly calmed me.

I also tapped on:

I trust my team of doctors to take me safely through this procedure.

I am hoping for the best outcome for this procedure. All I need to do is to stay calm and the rest of my team will handle everything else.

When I was wheeled into the operating theatre, I was feeling very cold and I asked them to cover me with blankets. When I was in my college, I was very shy and couldn’t share my thoughts with my doctors. Over the years the shyness receded with the help of tapping, and this time around, I let my team know exactly what I needed, even if it sounded frivolous or stupid. So, every time I had a doubt, I would ask. I didn’t assume anything, I told my nurses and doctors everything.

In my experience, the key to effective tapping is to acknowledge our honest feelings without judgement. However, when it comes to on-the-spot tapping, due to the time constraint and practical reasons, compassionate and realistic statements can be helpful.

I tapped on:

Even though I’m afraid of the surgery, I choose to have compassion for myself.

Even though I’m scared of general anesthesia, I am open to experiencing more calm and ease around this.

Even though I’m scared, I am open to the surgery going smoothly and safely.

After 5 and a half hours of surgery, I woke up in the observation room.

Later I was taken to my room where I couldn’t eat for the next 4-5 hours. I had three drainpipes hanging from the left side of my body, compression stockings on my legs that were meant to stop clotting, and several medical gadgets that made me feel trapped. The immobilization was scary and took some time to adjust to.

Later that day, I developed a complication, a clot in the surgical site. The surgeons were immediately notified and they found a swelling due to the drainpipe being blocked and started preparing me for another emergency surgery. Going under general anesthesia twice in a day was a tough call.

I was calm before the first surgery but preparing my mind for the second surgery was very difficult. I felt like running away. I panicked. I cried. I wanted to quit. But I tapped through it all. I decided to surrender to whatever was about to unfold instead of clutching at the outcome. I knew in that moment that positivity wouldn’t help me, only surrender would. Thankfully the surgery went well. I was on the oxygen mask afterwards for several hours and drifting in and out of sleep. My throat was parched and no liquid was allowed. I did some mental tapping to tolerate all the discomfort. After 5 days of pricking and poking under observation, I was finally discharged.

Post Surgery

I developed an infection after a week of being at home. The infection took a long time to heal. But I noticed that the healing accelerated when I tapped on the anger that I was holding onto about one of the doctors. That doctor handled my infection very roughly at first. When I panicked and called them to let them know about my infection, they had a very lukewarm response over the phone. The infection wasn’t mild, it took a month to heal, and the doctor also understood this after seeing it.

After recovery from surgery, I started preparing for the next step which was radiation. I will talk about it in the next article.

Throughout this process, I noticed that the doctors and nurses emphasized positivity, resilience and fighting spirit and while that was helpful, it didn’t always fit my experience. What helped me more was naming my honest feelings with tapping than being optimistic all the time. Tapping created the space for me to listen to what my body was saying without judgement.