Category: Stress

Empty the Barrel

Have you ever felt that even though you’ve weathered the toughest crises in the past, now even a small problem makes you feel like you’re losing control and you can’t take it anymore? That’s because your barrel is full. You cannot pile on more things on your system otherwise it will break down. This is what burn out looks like.

The full barrel effect refers to how when the immune system becomes overburdened and the body is full to its capacity of fighting pathogens and stress, you get autoimmune conditions where the body attacks itself.

“As long as your barrel is less than full, however, your immune system is still able to deal with what it confronts every day. But once the immune system becomes overburdened and that barrel fills to capacity it can begin to misread signals, causing the immune system to make costly mistakes and attack the body itself.”( Nakazawa, 2008)

So empty your barrel. You need to release the stress, let go of the adverse experiences and the stuck emotions that are keeping your barrel full. Once you start emptying the barrel, you will have more space in your body and mind to deal with new stressors. If your system is full of stress, then you don’t have any mental capacity to deal with new stuff, and anything new, no matter how small, can cause a breakdown.

 

Read more on the barrel effect here:

https://donnajacksonnakazawa.wordpress.com/2008/03/13/the-barrel-effect-or-its-the-last-straw-that-breaks-the-camels-back/

 

 

How to deal with uncertainty?

Uncertainty makes us anxious and worried.

When we are faced with an uncertain future then we invest even more strongly in making our vision of a perfect future come true.  “We tell ourselves everything will be okay, just as long as I can reach this projection of the future”( Burkeman)

We fear uncertainty so much that we go to extraordinary lengths to get rid of it. Instead we can to do the following to deal with uncertainty:

  • Increase your tolerance for things that are uncertain. “ I can’t control everything and that is okay”
  • Surrendering to it – there are some things than are bigger than you. “ This is bigger than me and it is okay”
  • Trusting the universe/God/whatever you believe in, to keep you safe in uncertain times.
  • ‘See what happens’ is a better reframe for living life than waiting for the perfect opportunity. See where life takes you. Deal with whatever comes up. Is the worst loss, if you failed, tolerable? If it is then that’s all you will need to know. Take the next step and the next.

Uncertainty is where things happen. It is where the opportunities for success, for happiness, for really living – are waiting (Burkeman, 2013)

 

Here’s a book recommendation for you

The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking

By Oliver Burkeman

http://www.amazon.in/Antidote-Happiness-People-Positive-Thinking/dp/0865478015

 

Your voice is important

How many times have you suppressed your voice? How often do you suppress what you want to say?
How often do you clearly express yourself?

When I work with clients who have social anxiety, this is one topic that often comes up. Along with fear of judgment they fear that if they express, then there might be a conflict and in order to avoid conflict they don’t speak, ending up suppressing their feelings.

This is not just an issue for people with social anxiety but also for lot of people who stay silent to maintain peace in a situation. For example, if you have a spouse who is very critical, you might stay silent to avoid his/her criticism. Or if you have a very dominating boss, you will not voice your opinions openly in front of him/her. If you feel that any situation has a potential of escalating, you stay quiet and don’t express your opinions.

You don’t express fearing that it will lead to arguments and confrontation. In order to maintain peace, you put up with things that you would not usually put up with. You fear that if you speak then you will get into a confrontation which will lead to unpleasantness.

To maintain our peace of mind, we give up on our voices. To avoid unpleasantness and intense feelings, we give up on our voices!

This video will help you address this – How to find your voice again.
Your feelings are important, your voice is important and if you express with clear intent, you will feel more confident.

LINK TO THE VIDEO